I love my children more than I think should be humanly possible. I love them deeply, completely, and unconditionally. To some people, though--particularly those who don't have children of their own--this amount of love for a child might seem extreme or excessive. I have had at least one well-meaning person tell me that I love my children too much.
Of course, I think this is completely untrue. I don't think it's possible to love a child too much--or, for that matter, that it's possible to love anyone too much. There is no limit to the amount of love that we should feel or show. Love is what gives our lives meaning and purpose. It's what motivates us to be good people and good parents. I believe that it's not only impossible to love a child too much--but that it's also impossible to love a child enough.
However, I do think that there are things that you can feel "too much" toward your kids.
1. You can be too attached to your children. Love and attachment are not necessarily the same thing. While you can't feel too much love for your little one, it's not healthy to feel empty or lonely every time your kid heads to school for the day. Infinite love for your child isn't the same thing as an overly clingy or codependent attitude. It's good to enjoy being around your kids, but it isn't healthy for either of you if you can't tolerate a few minutes apart.
2. You can be too involved with your kids. The "helicopter mom" label is one that we all want to avoid. Helicopter moms hover over their kids constantly, becoming overly and obsessively involved in everything from birthday parties and prom dates to piano lessons and soccer. Remember that you and your kids have separate lives and are separate individuals. Love your child, but don't live vicariously through her.
3. You can be too giving to your kids. It's possible to give too much to your children, especially when it comes to material objects. While it might make you feel like a better parent to buy your child everything she ever asks for, this doesn't create good character and it can leave her spoiled and ungrateful. Generosity has its limits, but love does not. Give as much love as you can give to your kids, but put a limit on the number of goodies you're willing to buy.
4. You can be too protective of your kids. It's good to be mindful of the dangers in the world, and to do what you can to keep your kids safe from them. But over-protective parents tend to produce neurotic children, and it makes the entire journey into adulthood unnecessarily frightening for your child. Requiring your child to wear a helmet is great. Forbidding your child from riding a bike until he's 12 is not. Don't let your love for your kids lead to you wrap them in a bubble.
5. You can be too interested in your kids. If you have no other interests besides parenting, you are likely to feel lost, confused and even depressed. It's great to be extremely invested in your children's health, safety, and happiness, but it's not good to make your children your one and only interest in life. Stay-at-home motherhood is fantastic, but make sure that you maintain some degree of interest in hobbies outside your career as a mother. No matter how much you love someone, you deserve to remain an individual.
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