All too often, when we examine our children's behavior, we focus too much on the behavior itself and not enough on the cause of the problem. This is especially true when a child's sleep habits are involved; parenting experts often advise solutions without investigating the reason for a child's insomnia. There are dozens of reasons that children experience sleep problems. Here are a few possible reasons that your child has trouble sleeping. Here are a few.
1. She's lonely and wants physical contact. For many children, it's difficult or impossible to sleep without the security of a parent's physical contact. Although cosleeping is normal, safe and healthy up to and including the toddler years, most parents want to wean a child from night-time attachment by the time the child reaches two, three or four. The best way to defeat this problem is to gradually increase the amount of space between you and your child each night-- a good compromise is a sidecar bed until your child is capable of sleeping solo in her own room.
2. He's anxious or stressed. Did your child's sleep problems start right after a major stressor-- such as starting school, a divorce, or the death of a grandparent? If so, it's likely that stress and anxiety are causing his sleep problems. These night-time stresses often manifest as insomnia, frequent awakenings, nightmares and bedwetting. These problems generally remit as your child adjusts to the new situation, but consult his pediatrician if the problem persists for an abnormally significant period of time.
3. She's afraid. Think back to when you were your child's age. What were your biggest fears? For most children, thoughts of monsters under the bed, ghosts in the closet, and vampires in the darkness are truly terrifying-- and seemingly legitimate. Although these fears seem silly now, it's a good idea to allay these fears by relating your own experiences. Explain that most kids are afraid of monsters, but that there's never been a monster under any of their beds. Show your child that the room is boogeyman-free and, if needed, invest in a nightlight. This phase will end soon.
4. He's uncomfortable. Many discomforts can keep a child up late at night, and some children don't-- or can't-- tell their parents what hurts. Ear-aches, stomach-aches, thirst, hunger, full bladders, congestion and emerging teeth can all cause discomfort severe enough to prevent sleep. Ask your sleepless child if he is uncomfortable-- or, if he is nonverbal because of a young age or a language-related learning disability, take him to the pediatrician if his sleep problems persist. If an infection is responsible for his discomfort, he may need treatment.
5. She has a chronic medical condition. Several medical conditions can cause sleep difficulties in children. Sleep apnea, a condition that causes children to stop breathing for a few seconds at night, is a particularly common night-time awakener. Other chronic conditions such as epilepsy and autism-spectrum disorders can also cause sleep difficulties, and parents may not correctly identify the underlying cause. Mention your child's sleep problems to her doctor at her next appointment, particularly if you notice convulsions in her sleep or unusually persistent snoring.
6. It's a habit. If you've ruled out other causes, it's possible that your child's sleep problems are caused by a habit-- which he may or may not outgrow without help. If you've let your child sleep in your bed for eight years running, and have made no attempt to change this pattern, you have been indulging a detrimental habit. If your child always wakes up at 2 a.m. and requests a lollipop or a movie, you are feeding this habit by giving in. Make a point of supporting your child's needs without succumbing to his requests; otherwise, it may be years of unnecessary sleep problems before he overcomes this habit.
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