When will my baby play with other kids?

To me, one of the most amazing components of baby development is the acquisition of social skills. Gradually, over the course of the first few years of life, babies go from being helpless and selfish, to being independent and compassionate. By the time most kids start school, they have begun playing with other children and relating their own experiences. I remember being near tears when my three-year-old daughter approached another child and said,"I really like your dinosaur shirt! What's your name?"

Over time, babies learn to not only play with other children, but also to love and appreciate their friends. Babies vary tremendously in their ability to play and interact with other children, but here is a basic timeline of development that most babies follow.

Babies are shy and insecure at 6 to 12 months.

During the second half-year of life, most babies are anxious around strangers, including babies. I remember my eight-month-old daughter panicking and crying when a toddler approached her and tried to play. This stranger anxiety, which peaks at an average age of 10 months, is completely normal for this stage of life.

Babies begin sharing with others at 9 to 18 months.

At an average of 10 months of age, most babies begin attempting to share with their parents, peers, and siblings. Early on, this may involve offering a grape to Mom or handing a toy to Dad. Many babies begin "sharing" by feeding their parents or siblings. As your baby develops, she'll learn to share affectionately and cooperatively with other children.

 Parallel play begins at 12 to 30 months.

Around your baby's second birthday--at an average age of 24 months--your baby will begin engaging in what experts call "parallel play." During this common form of toddler play, little ones engage in the same behavior without consulting or communicating with one another. Two toddlers in this age range might play with toy cars at the same table, but they don't directly interact with each other as they play.

Toddlers begin associative play at 2 to 4 years. 

Associative play, which begins at an average age of 30 months, is similar to parallel play, in that the kids involved don't have specific structures or rules to their games. They intentionally imitate one another and share with one another, communicating as they move along. However, they do not yet play cooperatively by assigning roles or following specific game-rules.

 Big-kid play takes off between 2 and 4. 

Shortly after your baby starts engaging in associative play, she also begins cooperative play. This happens at an average of 3 years of age, usually about 6 months after she begins playing associatively. Cooperative play is what we normally think of when we envision children playing. They might involve role-playing plots, such as "You pretend to be a mommy and I'll pretend to be a dog," or childhood classics such as Hide-and-Seek.

Parents should keep an eye out for problems.

If your baby seems to be developing normally, there is probably no need to worry at all about her social development. Some perfectly healthy babies do not begin sharing or communicating with other children until long after they start walking and running. However, if your baby still can't relate at all to other children by her third birthday, you may want to check in with her pediatrician. Her lagging social development may have an underlying cause, such as a vision problem or hearing problem.