Many parents worry when their toddlers fail to make eye contact while communicating. After all, an inability to make and maintain eye contact is a well-known characteristic of autism. However, many, if not most, toddlers have difficulty looking people in the eye during conversation. According to BabyCenter, most children won't consistently make eye contact until around age three, so it isn't cause for concern if your toddler tends to look away when people talk to him. Here are some pointers for helping your toddler make eye contact.
1. Get down to his level. To a toddler, an adult looks gargantuan. Toddlers have to tilt their heads all the way back to look into the eyes of a six-foot-tall grown-up, so it can feel strained, intimidating, and artificial. Crouch down next to your toddler when you talk to him. When you're seated at his eye level, eye contact is both physiologically and psychologically easier.
2. Request eye contact when your child's being good-- not just when he's in trouble.Toddlers tend to aver their eyes when they are in trouble for something, and it's at these times that parents are most likely to demand, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Be sure to remind your child to look at you during warm conversations, too. You might say, "What do you want for dinner? Can you look in my eyes when you tell me?" This will make your child have a less negative emotion attached to eye contact.
3. Use a puppet. Spend a few hours on a fun art project with your toddler-- make a sock puppet! By sewing or gluing a pair of googly eyes on the sock, you can give your child a "friend" to talk to. Ask your toddler a few questions, like "What's your name?" and "How old are you?" using the sock-puppet as the speaker. Ask your toddler to look at the sock puppet as he talks. Next, ask your toddler to look at you while you ask the same questions. If you do this a few times a week, your toddler will rapidly develop an ability to attentively make eye contact in conversation.
4. Get professional help. In and of itself, poor eye contact in a toddler is not a problem and does not need professional attention. However, if your toddler never looks you in the eye, it could be a sign of a vision problem or difficulty with eye focus. When accompanied by other characteristic symptoms, it could also be a sign of an autism spectrum disorder. Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a developmental specialist if you're concerned that your toddler's eye contact is unusually poor for his age.
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