When I was a kid, I never understood why all parents said that they cried on their children's first days at school. I would actually laugh when moms described the intense emotions involved in a kid's transition into preschool or kindergarten. Why, I thought, would anyone make such an ordinary milestone so emotional?
Then, of course, I had my own child. And, as everyone warned me, I was just a few blinks away from turning around and seeing not a baby, not a toddler, but a preschooler -- ready for school with a backpack full of crayons and scissors. Holy cow -- this is that feeling they were all talking about, huh?
There are plenty of survival guides on the Internet for helping your child cope with his first day at school, but we moms need a little school day TLC, as well. Here are a few mom-to-mom tips for handling your child's transition from "baby" into "student."
Pat yourself on the back. When I saw my precious little girl getting ready to tackle the wild world of preschool, a flood of emotions hit me. They included memories, hopes, dreams, and fears. Most powerfully, though, they contained that pressing question: Have I done a good job? For the past three and a half years, I've been my child's 24/7 teacher, mother, friend, and guide. And now, as I prepare to watch her transition into a world independent of me, I deserve to give myself credit. Yes, I've done a good job. And, if you're emotional about your child's first day at school, you've certainly done a good job, too.
Remember that you're still mom. When another person has your child for 20 to 30 hours per week, it's easy to feel crowded out, or somehow less important. But the fact of the matter is that, while you are no longer the center of your child's universe, you are still her mother. Bear in mind, as your prepare for your child's first day of school, that this is not the end of your tenure as a parent. This is simply a step into the next chapter. Hold the my-work-is-done tears until your child graduates from high school or college or, better yet, recognize that you'll remain Mama for the rest of your life.
Take pictures. Remember how quickly these last few years have passed, since you watched your child grow from a blip on an ultrasound to a backpack-toting pupil? Yeah, I don't remember much about that, either. Your kid's childhood is flying by at the speed of light, and moments that seem permanent now will quickly fade into the mists of memory. Take lots of photographs of your child's first school day. You'll treasure these fleeting images in the years to come.
Stay positive. Keep a good attitude about your child's first day at school. If you seem to be upset about it, your attitude is likely to rub off on your kids and trigger anxieties and behavioral disturbances. If your rising kindergartner happens to catch you crying -- or if you outright burst into tears while hugging her goodby -- make sure that you explain that these are "happy tears." Let your child know that you are excited and proud for her, and that you know she will enjoy school.
Live for the moment. Don't focus all of your energy right now on your memories of your child's past as a helpless newborn, and don't focus your mind's eye on her future as valedictorian or a Harvard graduate. Instead, keep your mind on the here and now. The past is over and the future is unknown. What you do know is that you have a child, that your child is going to school for the first time, and that you owe it to your entire family to be as present as possible for this wonderful occasion. You will never again have the chance to send your child off to his first-ever day of school. Enjoy this very special day while it lasts. The next time you turn around, you'll be hearing "Pomp and Circumstance."
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