When my daughter was a newborn, I swore to myself that I'd throw a dirty diaper at the next person who, with a sweet, nostalgic smile, peered at her and said, "They grow up so fast."
Yeah, yeah, I know. It goes by so fast. I'll look back in 18 years and wonder where all the time has gone. She'll be grown before I know it. I knew the drill. And, as much as I tried to heed it, I still didn't understand why everyone felt a need to point it out to me.
The next time I blinked, I opened my eyes to see a 3-year-old girl, somehow so much bigger, wiser, and more human than my helpless newborn. I know that I'm just a few more blinks away from the day she graduates high school.
As moms, we owe it to ourselves, and to our children, to slow down every now and then. Here are a few tips that have helped me grab these ever-fleeting moments of parenthood while they last.
1. Stop rushing.
You're walking through the parking lot with your 4-year-old, but she keeps dragging her feet two yards behind you. No matter how many times you snap, "Come on!" or pull her in your direction, she trudges through the parking lot like a snail climbing uphill. How do you react? If you're like most parents, you'll feel stressed out and angry. If you're a mom who's learned to slow down, you'll start walking as slowly as your kiddo, enjoying the scenery and the conversation while you search for your car. You have nothing to gain by stressing out over your pokey tot, but you've got everything to win by enjoying these fleeting moments of motherhood.
2. Make mornings less stressful.
You're running late for church, school, or work. Fifteen minutes to go, and the preschooler still isn't dressed, the preteen is panicked about her hair, and the toddler just pooped on the floor. It's these times that you feel like parenting isn't really worth all this stress. But mornings don't have to be this way. Set out your clothes -- and your kids' clothes -- the night before. Wake your kids with hugs, not alarm clocks and yelling. Go to bed an hour earlier and get up half an hour sooner. When you make a deliberate effort to make mornings more enjoyable and less upsetting, your entire family benefits.
3. Take little opportunities.
Suppose you've got a very long wait at the pediatrician's office. While you await your turn for one, two, then three hours, your child is whining nonstop about an earache. Again, this is a moment of motherhood that can feel stressful and annoying, but it's also a great opportunity to bond with your child. When was the last time you had three uninterrupted hours to just hold and talk to your kid? Take little moments like these to savor spending time with your child. Tell stories about when you were a kid and had an earache. Draw a picture with your child. Read "Goodnight Moon" 14 times, each with a different accent. It's these moments -- not expensive vacations and formal holidays -- that make parenting feel truly worthwhile.
4. Set aside family time.
Take the time to do something with your kids. I don't mean sitting on the couch and watching TV. I mean taking a Saturday to bake homemade cookies, go to the zoo, visit the playground, and play Candy Land. Those peaceful family days are memories that you'll retain for the rest of your life -- and, hopefully, your child will also savor them. Parenting will pass by all too quickly if you make the habit of spending all of your days in front of a television or computer. Take the moments offered to you every day.
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