My Toddler Pulls Her Hair Constantly!

It started when my daughter was about a year and a half old; shortly after, she started experiencing tantrums. Whenever something seriously upset her, she would begin pulling and twisting her hair around her finger, often matting it into dreadlocks that had to be cut. No matter what I did, she would keep up this bizarre habit, until her hair was an uneven mess of split ends and cut sections. This hair-pulling behavior hasn't stopped. Now, at almost four years old, my daughter has as little hair as a six-month-old baby, thanks to her constant hair-pulling and the need to cut out half-formed dreadlocks.

It's not uncommon for toddlers and preschoolers to pull their hair, especially when coping with anxiety or nervousness. If your toddler pulls her hair constantly, here are some pointers for dealing with the problem.

1. Don't panic. It can be alarming to see your child engaging in a behavior that seems masochistic, especially if she does it excessively. However, it's important to understand that these self-soothing behaviors, even when painful or harmful, are extremely common among toddlers. Among toddlers, hair-pulling is a nervous habit much like nail-biting, and doesn't necessarily indicate a serious behavioral, developmental or emotional problem.

2. Understand that it will likely pass on its own. Hair-pulling behavior in toddlers usually doesn't last long. Many toddlers will pull their hair for only a few weeks or months before moving on to a different method for self-soothing. According to my daughter's pediatrician, behaviors such as hair-pulling are completely normal up until about age five. By the time a child reaches school age, she is likely to naturally outgrow hair-pulling as a nervous habit.

3. Cut your child's hair short.

My daughter's trim, boyish haircut looks far better than the uneven mullet she got from constantly pulling her hair and needing to have matted locks removed. While it leads to her getting mistaken for a boy more often than not, I think the haircut is cute and functional. It's much harder for her to pull or twist her hair now, and it's not as noticeable when she does manage to pull out locks.

4. Don't draw attention to it. My daughter tends to pull and twist her hair more often when I tell her to stop, threaten her wish punishments, or offer rewards for refraining from pulling. By drawing attention to the behavior, you actually create the sense of nervousness that leads to hair-pulling in the first place. Although it's hard to bite my tongue when I want to tell her to stop, I've found that it's best to simply pretend not to see my daughter's hair-pulling habit.

5. Seek expert help. If your child continues pulling her hair past the age of five, or if her hair-pulling is very excessive at any age, bring it up with her pediatrician. Intense, frequent hair-pulling is a symptom of trichotillomania, an obsessive-compulsive disorder marked by pathological hair-pulling. Although it can not be readily treated in young children, it's important to mention it to your doctor, since it may be an early sign of a serious anxiety disorder. Always defer to professional judgment when it comes to concerns about your child's physical or emotional health.