I once posted as my Facebook's status: "My favorite thing about my daughter: she never stops talking. My least favorite thing about my daughter: she never stops talking."
It's true. My three-year-old girl will jabber day and night, during every activity. During mealtimes, she interjects her opinion when adults are discussing familiar topics. At night, she engages in full conversations-- in her sleep-- with apatosauruses and unicorns. My aunt swears that I birthed a loquacious child as karmic retribution for my never-shut-up tendencies in childhood.
A child who never stops talking is a mixed blessing, but a blessing nonetheless. Here a few mama-tested guidelines for handling a talkative tot.
Enjoy it! Isn't it funny that we, as parents, focus so much on the negative aspects of our children's personalities? The parents of jabberboxes often fail to enjoy their kids' hyperverbal tendencies, while parents of shy, quiet kids are often concerned about their children's intellectual or social development. My advice: have fun. I've had many a laugh over my daughter's verbal antics. From hearing her spout the word "negotiable" at age two to listening to her humorous explanation of gender differences at age three, I've had a blast hearing what my daughter has to say.
Actually listen. Mirror, mirror on the wall: I am my mother after all. When I was a child, I felt annoyed at how often I'd give a long-winded speech to my mother, only to hear that I'm-not-really-listening "uh-huh." Now, I often tune out my daughter's lengthy soliloquies about trains, kittens, baby birds, and the joys of veggie burgers. Often, it won't be until hours later that I realize: I was ignoring my kid. Although you don't owe your verbal child 100% of your attention 100% of the time, your child does need and deserve to have an audience as she learns to express her thoughts and feelings.
Teach manners. By the preschool years, your little one is ready to learn basic etiquette. It's important to explain that it's rude to interrupt adults when they are talking, unless there is an emergency. Similarly, your child needs to learn to stay quiet in certain settings. During a religious service, you might whisper firmly but gently, "Remember to keep quiet. Don't disrespect the person who is speaking." It's easy for kids to forget these rules, especially when excited. Try to refrain from using harsh punishments when your child speaks at an inappropriate time, but do remind and reinforce the rules.
Talk back. The correct response to, "Why is the sky blue?" or "Where is Tunisia?" isn't "Mmm-hmm," although the moms of talkative kids often fail to provide real answers. When my child asks a question, I try to provide a real answer no matter how annoying or odd the question might be. When my three-year-old noticed two side-by-side towers in the background of a picture book set in New York, it turned into an important discussion about 9/11 and the history of New York City. Had I simply said, "Those are just towers; let's keep reading," I would have missed an important opportunity. Jabberbox kids tend to be curious and inquisitive. Nourish that by providing real answers and real communication.
Nurture her gifts. A very verbal child is also likely to be gifted in some capacity. A toddler who gives professor-like seminars about mechanics may have an intellectual capacity far beyond his calender-age. Kids who "write" stories out loud or use unusually advanced metaphors may become brilliant writers. Work with your child's educators to identify and enhance your child's natural gifts. There is nothing that you can do to change the fact that you've been given a chattery child, but you can help her to make the most of her individuality as a character.
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