How Toddlers Learn to Obey Commands

There are many things that parents look forward to in a toddler's transition from "infant" to "child." We can't wait for our tiny tots to start talking, walking and demonstrating affection. We also can't wait for them to develop the essential ability to follow our commands. Toddlers begin obeying orders at varying ages depending on personality, learning pattern and language acquisition. The ability to follow a command typically follows a predictable timeline.

Here are some facts to consider about the way toddlers learn to follow orders.

1. Toddlers can follow a single-step command, with an indicative gesture, at around 1 year of age.

Between 10 and 16 months -- at a mean average of 12 months -- most toddlers begin following simple commands when parents use a gesture as a clue. For example, if you point to an object and instruct your child to pick it up, she'll likely be able to do this at or around 12 months of age.

2. At about 15 months of age, toddlers begin following simple orders without gestures.

A few months after your baby's first birthday, she'll likely be able to follow a one-step command, like "Come to me," even when you don't gesture to help her understand your order. However, this milestone can occur within a broad range of development -- with any age between 12 and 20 months considered normal.

3. A toddler usually follows a two-step command at around his second birthday.

At around age 2, many toddlers learn to follow a two-part order. For example, most 2-year-olds can obey a parent's command to "pick up your toy and put it in the box," without a gesture to help. Toddlers usually master this step in development between 22 and 30 months.

4. Behavioral considerations can play a role.

Many toddlers can understand commands, but are simply too defiant or uninterested to follow them. Preschoolers with a firm grasp on language may ignore many orders because of behavioral, rather than developmental, factors. Consider this as one possibility if your toddler seems to be lagging in his ability to obey orders.

5. Watch for developmental red flags. If your baby can't follow a one-step command with a gesture by 16 months, a one-step command without a gesture by 20 months, or a two-step command by 30 months, get in touch with her pediatrician. An inability to follow commands may indicate a hearing problem, learning disability or sensory processing disorder. Early diagnosis and intervention can help to reduce or eliminate the effects of these conditions.

Your toddler's ability to follow directions signals a new step in his mental, emotional, behavioral and sensory development. If your toddler is learning to follow directions within the normal time frame, his development is right on track.