How to Teach Kids Respect

As parents, we have a responsibility to teach several important virtues to our children. Among these virtues, it probably most important that we teach our children respect -- esteem, regard, and compassion -- for other people. But, in a world where disrespect is the norm and children rarely treat their peers and seniors with compassion, how can we make sure that our children grow to be respectful individuals?

I don't have all the answers in the wild battlefield that is parenthood, but I believe that I am raising my daughter to be a respectful person. Here are some simple tips that can help parents to instill their children with a sense of respect.

Show respect to them. 

Respect is a two-way street. You can teach your children to fear you using force, but you can not teach them to respect you unless you show respect to them. Avoid displaying disrespectful behaviors, like lying, yelling, and manipulating. Remind your children frequently that you care about them and want them to be happy. By demonstrating respect to those in your care, you encourage your children to respect you -- and everyone else they encounter.

Teach manners and courtesy. 

When I was growing up in Alabama, it was considered disrespectful to address an adult as anything other than "sir" or "ma'am." While many people would consider these standards outdated and unnecessary, it's still important to teach your children basic manners, from "please" and "thank you" to "excuse me" and "I'm sorry." Manners and courtesy are cornerstones of respect.

Remind your children of the Golden Rule.

This doesn't mean repeating "Do unto others..." like a mantra. It means offering the tools they need to
be empathetic toward their peers and family members. Ask your children often, "How would you feel if someone did that to you?" Also ask your children to consider situations she's likely to never encounter. Ask, "How would it feel to be deaf? Blind? Poor?" Using the Golden Rule as a guideline, teach your children to understand the needs and emotions of others.

Accept differences; don't model bigotry.

 If your child hears you constantly judging others -- from your friends and family members to the strangers you pass in the park -- how will she ever learn to respect others? Teach respect by modeling it in your interactions with other people. If you model judgment and bigotry, your child will pick up on it and will emulate the behavior. If you model tolerance and acceptance, your child will be a more open-minded and respectful person.

Avoid violence in all forms.

 In your interactions with your children and the other people in your life, eschew the use of violence in any form. Do not yell, hit, or threaten. Don't mistreat animals, blast your horn in traffic, or raise your voice during every altercation with other adults in your life. The best, and only, effective way to teach your children respect is to demonstrate it in yourself every day. When you live a respectful and nonviolent life, you enable your children to become the compassionate people that they have the capacity to become.