How Babies Develop Separation Anxiety

My daughter, who is now a delightful, confident, and happy 3-year-old, experienced severe separation anxiety during infancy. For several months, she would become inconsolable the second I was out of her line of sight. Although this stage in infant development is uniquely distressing, it is completely normal. Your baby's separation anxiety will evolve and eventually disappear over time. Here are the steps involved in the way a baby develops separation anxiety.

1. Young babies can have an understanding of familiarity: the beginning of separation anxiety. My daughter's separation anxiety started long before she recognized me as an individual. Even as a newborn, she was accustomed to my smell, my milk, my voice, and the way that I held her. Your newborn may be upset when you put her down or give her to another caregiver, simply because it isn't what she's used to. This is not true separation anxiety, but may evolve over time to resemble it.

2. Babies 6 to 7 months old begin showing signs of separation anxiety.

By six to seven months old, most babies can readily recognize the faces and voices of caregivers. However, babies in this age group do not yet grasp the concept of "object permanence." As far as they can understand, a person who has left the room has ceased to exist. A recognition for caregivers, combined with an inability to understand object permanence, creates a perfect recipe for early separation anxiety. However, this stage is usually not as severe as later episodes of separation anxiety.

3. Separation anxiety begins to peak at around 10 months. Some time before your baby's first birthday, you'll start to see separation anxiety manifest as panic, rather than whining and worry. Babies at this age have very strong bonds to their parents and understand some aspects of cause and effect. For example, a 10-month-old baby may know that mama saying "bye-bye" means that she will leave, but doesn't have the maturity or comprehension to know that she will reliably come back. The concept of object permanence is still weak or absent in babies this age.

4. One-year-olds suffer from the most significant forms of separation anxiety. Shortly after your baby begins walking, she'll enter a developmental period that makes her feel a drive toward independence along with a heightened sense of insecurity. Your 1-year-old will view you as a secure base as she begins confronting the anxieties of toddlerhood, so she may panic when you leave her side. The year-and-a-half mark is often the zenith of separation anxiety for babies.

5. Separation anxiety fades significantly at age 2. A toddler will usually demonstrate far fewer symptoms of separation anxiety as he approaches his second birthday. Between 24 and 30 months, it is likely to vanish entirely. Most preschool-age children (over the age of 3) show few or no signs of separation anxiety. If your child demonstrates severe separation anxiety, or if it lasts much longer than expected, talk to his pediatrician for advice.