Before I had my daughter, I heard what I believed to be every complaint associated with parenting. I heard from nearly everyone that parenthood is maddening, exhausting, financially draining, and at times heartbreaking. No one told me, though, that it is so mind-numbingly boring. I adore my child and love spending time with her, but those occasional moments of joy and excitement seem to punctuate a dull career in motherhood.
I do manage to find plenty of ways to enjoy motherhood -- and I recognize that I'm lucky for listing "boredom" as the hardest thing about parenting for me. The defeat of boredom has been instrumental in helping me enjoy motherhood to the fullest. Here are some tips for fighting mommy-boredom.
1. Do something that you and your child both enjoy.
Whether it's a video game, a visit to the zoo, a board game, or a walk in the park, there are definitely a few things that you and your child share as common interests. No adult enjoys spending time at Chuck E. Cheese's or playing Candy Land 12 times in a row, but most parents will find at least a handful of interests they share with their children. Find something fun that you and your child can do together -- and then do it.
2. Go out and have fun. This is one point in the resolution of boredom that I wish I'd reached long ago. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going out and having a good time after a long day of Elmo, snotty noses, and math homework. If you need to unwind with a martini and a good friend once your kids are tucked in bed, and in the hands of a responsible caregiver, go for it! Your career as a parent can, should, and must include breaks. Whether it's getting lunch with a relative, a romantic dinner with your partner, or drinks with the gals, you owe yourself some you-time.
3. Sneak your own play-time into your child's play-time.
You don't have to wait until your kids are in bed, or in the hands of another caregiver, to have time for yourself. You can read a book while nursing your baby, surf the Web while your preschooler is watching a movie, watch TV while your grade-schooler plays outside. You can have fun while your child is having fun -- without neglecting your responsibilities or doing the same thing your kid's doing.
4. Pick up old hobbies. Think back to your life before you became a parent. Chances are good that you feel like a completely different person now. Your priorities, interests, and hobbies have all changed radically. While I think that most of the changes of parenthood are positive, we often forget -- somewhere between the diapers and the school bus -- what we really want for ourselves. If you used to enjoy painting, jogging, yoga, or music, get back on the horse. It's important to retain hobbies and interests from your pre-parent lifestyle.
5. Stay in touch. Nothing leads to boredom as much as social isolation. Any parent will get bored and depressed after spending weeks, months, or years without appreciable contact with the outside world. Chase away the mommy-blues by making sure that you have plenty of friends, family members, and (if applicable) colleagues who can share late-night phone calls and playground trips with you.
Boredom may be a common, if not universal, aspect of parenthood -- but there's no reason that we moms and dads can't have fun.
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