When Should You Talk to your Pediatrician About Your Child's Tantrums?

Temper tantrums aren't just a normal part of toddler development -- they're an essential milestone in early-childhood development. According to my daughter's pediatrician, tantrums are a milestone much like walking or talking, indicating that a child is developing normally. However, in some cases, tantrums become so severe or so prolonged that they fall outside the range of normal development. When this happens, parents need to contact a pediatrician to rule out an underlying physical or psychological condition.

Here are some signs that your toddler's tantrums need expert evaluation.

1. Call your pediatrician if your toddler also holds his breath during tantrums. Many toddlers will involuntarily hold their breath during a tantrum. If this goes on for long enough, the child may turn blue and pass out. This is not only scary to parents; it can also be somewhat dangerous to the child. Let your child's doctor know if you've witnessed this behavior.

2. Let your doctor know if your toddler injures himself during tantrums.

In some cases, a toddler having a tantrum might hit himself or bang his head against a wall. This can be a difficult behavior for parents to prevent, because punishing a child for an already-painful behavior only augments the tantrum. Your pediatrician can help you find ways to resolve this problem. Note that it may be symptomatic of another condition or of serious emotional stress.

3. Tell an expert if your toddler's tantrums are accompanied by developmental problems.Tantrums occur during toddlerhood as a child struggles with his incapacity to express himself and to move fluidly. For children with developmental delays, the tantrums can become far more pronounced. If your toddler's tantrums come alongside delays in speech, language, or motor development, schedule an evaluation with your local early intervention (EI) program.

4. Tell your doctor if your toddler also shows serious emotional disturbances. If your toddler's severe tantrums coincide with a sudden tendency toward nightmares, incontinence, sleep deprivation, stomach aches, appetite loss, or excessive clinginess, tell your doctor. These could be signs that your toddler is experiencing significant stress or abuse -- issues that need to be addressed promptly.

5. Get help if your toddler's tantrums continue or worsen after age 4. If your toddler continues to have tantrums after she reaches 4 years of age, it may be a sign of an emotional or developmental disorder. Occasional tantrums in older children are not entirely rare, but they are cause for concern if they occur frequently or with greater magnitude as a child gets older. Expert intervention may be necessary.