When my daughter was a baby, I nicknamed her "Kitten-Paws" because of her tendency to pinch, knead and pull while she was nursing, not unlike a newborn kitten. Most often, the target of this fidgeting was my chest, face or hair-- or her own hair and clothing. Even today, my now-weaned three-year-old still sometimes pulls at her own hair or kneads the sides of her sippy-cup while she sleepily drinks cow's milk.
This behavior, known as "twiddling," is extremely common in nursing children. If your breastfed baby has recently started twiddling, you might be alarmed, annoyed or even physically injured by this habit. Here are a few facts to know about twiddling in breastfed babies.
1. It's completely normal. You might worry that your baby's fidgeting can be a sign of some sort of behavioral or emotional abnormality. Twiddling is, in fact, entirely normal. If you talk to other moms in your area who breastfeed, or have breastfed, their children, you'll find that almost all of them experienced some degree of twiddling. Even excessive twiddling isn't a reason for concern.
2. Enjoy it while you can. Not everything about breastfeeding has to be a problem. Mild twiddling isn't just harmless; it can be fun. I fondly remember the way my daughter would play with my hair or face while she drifted off to sleep in my arms. These moments will pass more quickly than you can imagine, so savor them while they last.
3. Twiddling serves a purpose. My daughter's "Kitten-Paws" nickname wasn't far off the mark. As a nursing behavior, twiddling exists for the same reason that kittens' kneading behavior exists. When a hungry baby pinches or pats his mother's breast, it can enable her to let-down more milk. So, while it may be annoying, it's actually ensuring that your baby gets what she needs.
4. Twiddling can be awkward. I once met a woman who had a six-year-old breastfed son. She proudly proclaimed that, while he nursed from one nipple, he would often twist the other in his free hand. While she found this cute, I would have been uncomfortable with a child of any age pulling or twisting my nipples. Many moms may find that younger children, including babies and toddlers, will also engage in this specific twiddling behavior. Although it's normal for your baby to do this, it may be uncomfortable for you-- and you're well within your rights to nip the behavior in the bud.
5. You can re-route your baby's attention. If your baby is twiddling in a manner that is painful or awkward, it is possible to re-route your baby's attention to a more harmless area. For example, if your baby twiddles by pulling on your hair-- and this causes you pain or discomfort-- you can purchase a nursing necklace to capture his eye. Nursing necklaces are designed to provide appealing colors, shapes and textures for twiddling children. They can distract your baby from more bothersome twiddle-targets.
6. It's okay to refuse to allow it. If a specific nursing behavior, such as twiddling the other breast or publicly exposing your body, bothers you, it's okay to say no. If nursing necklaces and other alternatives fail, gently remind your child, "Don't pull on the nummies," "Don't pull my hair," or "Keep me covered, please-- we're in public." Simply stop nursing if your baby keeps doing it. She will eventually learn that you don't regard it as an acceptable nursing behavior.
7. Twiddling is a phase that will pass in time. Twiddling may remain as a habit throughout the time that you nurse your child, or it may pass before your baby is weaned. Some children, like my own daughter, continue to show twiddling-like behaviors long after they have stopped breastfeeding. For most breastfed older babies and toddlers, twiddling peaks between twelve and eighteen months of age. There isn't much that you can do to stop the innate desire to twiddle, but know that the phase will eventually pass and that there are ways to stop it from becoming disruptive. When your baby is ready for high school, I guarantee that she won't still be pinching your nose every time she eats.
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