Overcoming Pronoun Reversal in Toddlers

Pronoun reversal is common in toddlers. While it may signal an autism-spectrum disorder when it persists for an abnormal length of time, some degree of pronoun confusion can occur as a part of normal speech development. My own daughter began exhibiting pronoun confusion beginning at roughly 18 months of age, and it persisted strongly. She not only mixed up the use of the words "me" and "you"; she took it to the next level by phrasing everything as I might say it.

At 25 months, she asked for a cookie by saying, "Honey, did you want to eat a cookie? Say please and thank you." After stacking several blocks, she congratulated herself by saying, "Wow, honey, what an imprsesive stack of blocks! Good job, sweetie!" Although I found this quirk cute for several months, it began to concern me when I realized that pronoun reversal in toddlers may by a symptom of autism, particularly when it is accompanied by echolalia, a related symptom that my toddler also displayed.

When I contacted a speech pathologist, she ruled out "full-blown" autism because my daugher showed no other symptoms of the condition. However, the pathologist did state that the toddler's pronoun confusion could relate to Apserger's, a disorder on the so-called autism spectrum. She gave me several tips to help me overcome pronoun reversal. If your toddler is displaying this behavior, use these tips to help your child overcome it. If it persists beyond 30 months of age, mention it to your toddler's pediatrician.

Answer Accurately

I didn't realize that I was reinforcing my toddler's pronoun reversal by responding to it as if I knew what she meant. When she asked to read a book by saying, "Honey, did you want me to read a book to you?" I would respond with, "Sure," and then proceed to read the text as usual.

Now, I respond to the same question by saying, "Yes, please. You can read the book to me if you want." While she initially found this frustrating, it helped her to transition into the correct use of pronouns. I take her words literally until she finally phrases the request in a correct (or slightly more correct) context.

Don't Try to Explain

Have you ever tried to explain pronouns to a toddler? It's nearly impossible and won't get you very far. I spent several days trying to explain, "You call yourself me, and I call myself me, and I call you you, and you call me you..." By the end of the conversation, your brain will be scrambled and so will your toddler's. It's better to explain by demonstration instead of lecture.

Emphasize Correctness

There's no sense in manipulating your child with rewards to alter his speech patterns. It wo't do any good to anyone for you to hand him a piece of candy every time he uses a pronoun correctly. However, you can help him overcome his pronoun reversal by noting and emphasizing his correct use of these terms.

When my daughter does use a pronoun correctly, I try to react more enthusiastically than usual. "Mama, I want to sit in your lap," is greeted with "Absolutely. You may sit in my lap while I read this book." -- when a pronoun-reversed version of the same sentence would have been gently corrected and then met with an affectionate but unenthusiastic "okay."

Get Help

If your home techniques aren't working to help your toddler overcome pronoun reversal, seek help-- whether from a professional or from your child's other caregivers. Ask your spouse, family members, friends and your child's caregivers to reinforce your tecniques. If the pronoun reversal persists until 30 months or later, make a phone call to your county's early intervention program for a formal evaluation. The speech pathologists who work with young chlidren can provide insight and therapy to help you overcome this obstacle.