I was delighted when I made the decision to move to a new town with my 3-year-old daughter. Everything about the town made it a good choice for us. The culture, shopping, educational opportunities and recreation in the area completely fit the needs of my tiny two-person family. But I had never moved with a preschooler before -- I had no idea how to handle the stresses that inevitably pop up during a move. Here are a few tips that helped me and my preschooler cope with moving-related stresses.
1. Preview the area. Your child is part of your family. While the decision to move may not rest on her shoulders, she does have a right to assess the area to learn what's good and bad about it. In general, I try to give my toddler the same amount of respect that I would give any other human being. That means that she got to help make choices about where we spent our time in the new city and which neighborhoods she preferred. Take your preschooler to local child-friendly attractions so you can both scope out their pros and cons. No one in your family will be happy if your child views the city in a negative light.
2. Talk about it. I made sure that my daughter completely understood where we were moving and why, before we actually packed up and moved to the new city. I explained the name of the city, the state, and a bit about the local geography. Tell your preschooler what he can expect: "We'll be living in an apartment instead of a house. It's on a big mountain and there's a playground across the road." For about a week before we moved, I would review with my daughter where we were moving. I would also explain that familiar places and landmarks near our "old house" would be further away.
3. Get help during the actual move. I can't stress how important this step is. Although I didn't hire professional movers, I did reach the conclusion that I absolutely, positively would not be able to juggle moving while also entertaining and supervising a disoriented preschooler. For this reason, I chose to leave her with a family member during the day of the actual move. My preschool-age daughter had never been away from me for so long, but it was far less stressful to both of us than it would have been if I'd brought her along for the move itself.
4. Delegate tasks. Toddlers and preschoolers feel good when they know they're helping. But, during a move, your preschooler is likely to feel like she's simply in the way. I offered my toddler several helpful tasks, like, "Feed the rabbits," and "Help me put these books on the shelf," while we were getting everything straightened out in the new home. This not only made things easier for me; it also helped her to feel like she was establishing it as a familiar territory.
5. Have fun. Moving is a stressful time for both you and your preschooler, but that doesn't meant that it can't be fun. Make adventures and exploration the highlight of your first few weeks in the new town. Take your preschooler to the local ice cream parlors, parks, playgrounds, family-oriented restaurants, and other enjoyable attractions. While you may not have a lot of extra time or money to spend right now, it's best to stay positive and forward-facing while you and your preschooler get cozy in your new city.
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