Is Your Teen or Tween Ready to Babysit?

Caring for younger children can be an important step in teaching your teen or tween responsibility. By taking care of a younger child, preteens and adolescents learn how to interact as an authority figure, which is an important part of becoming an adult and gaining autonomy. Because children mature at different rates, there is no set age at which a child magically becomes responsible enough to babysit: it may come as early as age eleven or as late as age eighteen. These steps can help you to determine whether or not your child is ready to handle the responsibilities associated with childcare.

How well does she handle being home alone?

If you can't yet trust your adolescent to be at home by herself for several hours at a time, she is not ready to babysit for anyone else. A child must first be able to take care of herself before she can be expected to fully care for anyone else. If you do not yet trust your teen or tween to be alone for several hours without you, wait a while before allowing her to commit to a babysitting job.

How does she interact with younger children?

Some teens and tweens still interact with young children as if they are peers or playmates. While this may be fun for the children, it is not necessarily ideal: she is not there to act as a friend, she is there to be a caregiver. Adolescents who will easily be swayed by the idea of eating M&Ms for dinner are not yet ready to babysit.

Does she understand basic home safety and childcare?

Before you allow your child to babysit, make sure that she understands basic safety measures that need to be taken around young children. Direct her to websites about basic infant or child care. If appropriate, make sure that she understands how to heat bottles or mix formula, and be absolutely certain that she understands that she should never shake a baby. If she is caring for older children, let her know about bathtub safety, how to handle tantrums, and preparing children for bed.

Does she handle sensitive subjects with maturity?

It's true that kids say the darnedest things. At any given point, the child that your teen is babysitting for might pop out an embarrassing question like, "Where do babies come from?" or "Is it true that teenagers drink beer a lot?" If your teen or tween still blushes every time she hears a sensitive word or subject raised, she is probably not yet ready to babysit. It is important for caregivers to be able to answer questions with maturity, even if the answer is simply an affirmative and unbiased, "You should ask your parents about that."

Is she comfortable in a position of authority?

An adolescent who is considering babysitting needs to be comfortable enough to be the one in control. If she can't yet speak with authority and reason, she may need to wait a few months or years before committing to a babysitting job. She must feel confident enough to be able to say "NO!" when a child engages in an inappropriate or dangerous behavior. If she does not yet have the confidence to do this, wait until she does before allowing her to babysit.

Is she confident enough to work alone, but admit when she doesn't know something?

Many teens are possessed with overconfidence, and feel very embarrassed about admitting when they have made a mistake or don't know the answer to a question. If your child has difficulty asking for and accepting help, even when it's necessary, she may need to adjust her behavior before she is prepared for the difficulties of babysitting. She needs to be able to admit it to herself and other people if she doesn't know how to change a diaper or doesn't know how to get a six-year-old to go to bed. However, she is also equally unprepared if she is so unsure of herself that she will be calling the parents (or you) every few minutes to make sure she's doing it "right".

If, after reviewing these questions, you don't think that your child is ready to babysit, discuss it with her openly and without judgment or criticism. There is nothing wrong with not being prepared to babysit--like any other job, it takes a certain degree of character and expertise. If she is still interested, try having her watch children while the parents are still home, so she can practice without being fully in charge. She may be prepared to babysit after just a few weeks or months of practice. If she finds that she is never completely ready for the task, help her to accept this and move on: remind her that many educated adults also find that childcare is not a good occupational choice for them.

Note: For the purposes of clarity and consistency, the adolescent in question is referred to as "she" and "her", however, these guidelines apply equally to boys who are interested in babysitting.