When my daughter was a young baby, I remember feeling like we were still very much the same person. I would wake up moments before her, my breasts would leak milk as soon as she was hungry, and I felt like a limb had been amputated any time I wasn't holding her. Although the cord had been cut months before, it still felt, both emotionally and biologically, like she was a part of me.
Some time over the last four years, my daughter has gone from being an extension of me to an independent, headstrong preschooler with her own opinions, thoughts, beliefs, and interests. This didn't happen overnight. Independence is a very gradual process that babies experience over time. Here are the most common steps in babies' development of independence.
1. Babies develop a concept of self at 6 - 7 months.
At around 7 months, your baby is able to sit up independently and may be eating solid foods. Her brain has developed enough that she is aware of her own movements and her own simple decisions. She also knows that she can not control your body, since it is separate. With this comes the realization that you could leave her, and this realization often forms the beginnings of separation anxiety.
2. Young toddlers begin to assert independence. Between 12 and 18 months of age, your baby enters toddlerhood: a stage marked by a rapid increase in independence and self-discovery. Shortly after your baby begins walking, she will begin striving for some form of independence. Your toddlers knows that she can walk like a grown-up, feed herself, and willfully choose her own movements. She might begin trying to be independent in ways she's not yet ready for, such trying to dress herself, feed the family pet, and climb onto furniture without help.
3. By age two, toddlers become true individuals-- and chaos ensues. By age two, a toddler becomes truly sentient. If he sees a mirror, he will readily recognize it as a reflection of himself, and not a new baby seen through a window. Your two-year-old makes new discoveries every day about his ability to act independently of his parents. He will fully realize that he can defy you, disobey you, and lie to you-- and he knows that he has no control whatsoever over the choices that you willfully make. This creates a sudden and aggressive struggle for independence: the "terrible twos."
4. By age three, your toddler will enter the "Me do it!" phase. Some time between 30 and 36 months, your toddler is likely to begin asserting independence through increased self-care. She might absolutely insist on putting on her own clothes or on feeding herself, and may react with frustration when you block her independence by doing these things for her. These small, gradual assertions of independence will last through the preschool, elementary, and adolescent years-- until the final cord is severed the day your baby leaves home.
5. Every child is different. When it comes to infant and toddler milestones, there are no guarantees. Children all develop at completely different rates, and those with special needs may be significantly different than their peers. My own daughter, although able in mind and body, didn't express any desire for independence until she was nearly four years old. Others may be insistent about independence from a much earlier age than average. If you have any questions about your baby's development of independence, get in touch with his pediatrician for a developmental evaluation.
No comments:
Post a Comment