My four-year-old daughter spotted "Little Cars," an animated series blatantly imitating the more popular Pixar films, on Netflix. Knowing she might enjoy the series, I went ahead and let her watch a few episodes-- only to see the characters name-calling and bullying one another. The shows were rife with sexual innuendo-- harassing a female about her "headlights," for example-- and terrible morals. I hated to do it, but I had to tell my daughter that she couldn't watch the show anymore. Here's how I went about the not-so-easy process of banning my daughter from watching certain shows.
1. Explain that you care. When my mom told me as a child that I was no longer allowed to watch "Ren and Stimpy," I naturally thought she was just being mean. In retrospect, I can completely understand her reasoning. Parents can help their kids understand the reason for censorship if they take the time to explain that you're banning a movie or TV show from your home because you care about your child and her well-being, not because you're being controlling or mean.
2. Explain your reasoning. "I think it's a bad show" isn't good enough. Your child needs to know exactly why the show or movie is inappropriate. At the very least, it's a good teachable moment. I explained to my daughter which lessons in her TV show I found objectionable and how I could foresee it having a bad influence on her. For example, I explained that she might see the characters calling each other names and think that it's an acceptable way to talk to people. With this sort of understanding, it was easier for her to accept that the show was now banned.
3. Don't be a hypocrite. Explain that you hold yourself to the same standards as you hold your children. I told my daughter that there are movies that I'm not "allowed" to watch because of my anxiety disorder, and that I follow the rules because I know that those movies are bad for me. You might explain that you avoid movies with principles you disagree with, and that you are grown-up enough that you know how to choose good movies and bad movies. Remind your child that she will one day have the maturity and judgment to make these decisions for herself, but can't do this yet.
4. Be consistent. If you don't allow TV shows with potty humor, don't allow TV shows with potty humor. If you make an exception for one show or movie, your child is likely to want an exception for the others. Make sure you are consistent in enforcing rules about what your child may and may not watch, and be sure to remind other caregivers of your standards so she isn't exposed to the banned media at the house of a friend or grandparent.
If you choose to forbid your child from watching certain television shows or movies, be sure to do it properly so that your child willingly abides by your rules and understands the reason for them. In time, your child will understand the reason for your limitations and will independently choose to abide by your rules.
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