Helping your Child Overcome Preschool Anxiety

My daughter, who is 3 years old, started school two weeks ago. Although her first day was tear-free -- for her, anyway-- she experienced a bout of anxiety for a few days afterward. The early-morning drop-offs came with spells of crying and even full-fledged panic. Fortunately, I was able to mitigate her preschool anxiety using simple techniques suggested by her teacher and other parents. Since then, she's done much better and has had fewer, milder episodes of preschool anxiety.

Here are a few tips that can help your preschool-age child cope with school anxiety.

Prepare before school. Before your child starts preschool, read plenty of books about school, teachers, and how a classroom environment functions. This can help to ease your child's transition into her life as a student. If at all possible, you should also take your child to the school for a visit before her first day of class. If your child has already started preschool, it's not too late to read reassuring books and to explain how school functions.

Remind your child that you will be back. Some preschoolers still have difficulty understanding that mommy or daddy will always come back at the end of the day. As you drive or walk your child to school, remind her that you look forward to seeing her after school. As you leave, don't say "goodbye." Say, "See you soon!" Emphasize the fact that preschool is a temporary outing, not a permanent removal from home.

Consider using a transitional object in preschool. I sent my daughter to school with a small note that said, "MAMA LOVES YOU," in simple print that she could read. Other parents at her school sent their kids with sentimentally valuable stuffed animals or treasured blankets. These objects can be particularly useful to kids who have difficulty with nap time anxiety at preschool.

Talk about school before and afterward. Reinforce the fact that you are still part of your child's life, even when you're away. Tell your child that you're excited about her day at school. When you pick her up from school, ask her how her day went, who she played with, and what she learned. When your child feels like you're involved in her preschool life, she'll feel less anxious about school and more confident when you sent her off for the day.

Talk to her teacher. Let your child's teacher know that you are actively involved in helping to conquer preschool-related anxiety. Ask the educator for tips and guidelines for handling preschool anxiety, and find out what you can do as a parent to help her through it. It's also a good idea to make sure the teacher is aware of your child's own emotional needs, including your child's struggles with anxiety. With cooperation and involvement from caregivers, your child is likely to overcome her anxiety early in her emerging life as a preschool student.