Helping Your Child Enjoy Church

My earliest memories of church are far from pleasant. I remember big bows jerked into my hair with hairspray and mousse, uncomfortable shoes that my stepmom bought two-sizes-too-big and stuffed with tissue, and dusty-smelling rooms where I listened to boring Sunday school lessons and missed being at home with my pets and video games. I'm glad to say that my daughter didn't inherit my disdain for church. My child actually loves going to church, and I think the choices we make have contributed to her love of the congregation.

If you're a parent trying to help your child enjoy church, here are some pointers for improving his attitude and experience.

1. Don't be too formal. Even at churches where a pair jeans and a tee-shirt are unacceptable attire, there's wiggle-room for kids' comfort. Your child doesn't have to be donning perfect hair, painted nails and an uncomfortably elaborate dress to be in her "Sunday best." Buy plenty of comfortable but nice clothes that look appropriate for church without looking like something from Toddlers and Tiaras. Your child will enjoy church much more if she doesn't feel like she has to be artificial or overdressed to attend.

2. Bring a friend. My daughter's favorite church visits have been the times that we brought friends along for the day. We go to a Unitarian Universalist church, so it is open to children of all beliefs without any specific religious indoctrination. For this reason, all of my daughter's friends' parents are comfortable with their kids coming to church with us as guests. See if your child's Saturday-night friends can tag along for church the next day, and it might make the experience more fun for everyone.

3. Attend a church that genuinely suits your family's needs. The most wonderful thing about religious diversity is that a sanctuary exists to suit almost any person's needs, feelings, and preferences. If you go to a church that truly meets the needs of your family, it will likely be an enjoyable experience each week for everyone in your family-- kids included. Your child's disdain for church may well be a reflection of an incompatibility between you and your congregation. A church with a friendlier atmosphere or later services might be a better choice.

4. Assure adequate food and rest. Any child will be irritable and grumpy if she is sent to Sunday school with too little rest and an empty belly. Be sure to provide your child a wholesome breakfast before church and maybe pack a snack to fend off mid-church sugar-crashes. A decent amount of sleep on Saturday night is also critical for your child's attitude at church. Simple solutions like these can make church feel like a delight instead of a chore.

5. Talk to Sunday school teachers or nursery workers. The people who care for your child during Sunday services may be able to provide clues about why your child is so resistant to going to church. Conflicts with other children, negative feelings about the church's teachings, or even a feeling that Sunday school is "boring" could be at fault. Work with the church's childcare providers to find ways to solve these problems.

No matter what your religion is, worship services or Sunday school lessons are supposed to be enjoyable for everyone in your family, and your entire family will be happier if you take steps to accommodate your kids' needs and wishes for a pleasant Sunday morning.