Bonding with Your Newborn After a Hospital Birth

Some advocates of home birth believe that giving birth in a private, personal setting will enable a healthier, stronger, quicker bond between mother and baby. However, women who give birth in hospitals (whether by need or by preference) are just as capable of forming powerful, loving attachments with their newborns.

These attachment-parenting tips can help mothers who give birth in hospitals to form strong, loving bonds with their newborns. Attachment between mother and baby comes naturally and smoothly for almost all parents, and these guidelines can facilitate the development of a nurturing bond.

Choose a Baby-Friendly Hospital.

To end the epidemic of unnecessary formula-feeding, the World Health Organization has set standards for defining a "baby-friendly hospital". These hospitals are designed to facilitate bonding between the mother and baby, and have all the equipment and staff necessary to foster a healthy breastfeeding relationship. Click here to read the WHO guidelines for choosing a baby-friendly hospital.

If there are no certified baby-friendly hospitals in your area, talk to your doctor or nurse-midwife about facilitating compliance with these guidelines. Even if it is not the hospital's typical practice to follow the WHO recommendations, your doctor may be able to work with hospital staff to create an environment that enables bonding.

Give Birth Naturally, if Possible.

Aside from the many health benefits offered by natural birth, giving birth without medication can offer an added, very important bonus-- it helps to guarantee an immediate attachment between the mother and baby. When an undrugged mother and her undrugged newborn meet, they are more likely to make eye contact immediately, and the baby is more likely to take to the breast quickly and without complications.

C-sections are not only dangerous when not medically indicated-- they can also seriously impair the process of bonding with a newborn. When general anesthesia is required or requested, many women report that they fail to bond with their newborns until long after the medication has worn off. Breastfeeding can also become hindered after a C-section.

Breastfeed Immediately After Birth.

Whenever at all possible, most midwives and lactation consultants recommend that a baby be breastfed within thirty minutes of birth. This benefits the baby by establishing his suckling reflex early-- the longer you wait, the less likely it is that the newborn will take to the breast eagerly. Immediate breastfeeding also helps to contract the mother's uterus and expel the placenta naturally.

Most importantly, immediate breastfeeding after a hospital birth will trigger the mother's own feelings of love and contentment. Breastfeeding not only facilitates the release of relaxing hormones, but it also stimulates quick production of breastmilk and an immediate bond with the newborn.

Practice Rooming-In.

Almost all hospitals allow rooming-in, and some baby-friendly, attachment-parenting-friendly hospitals will even allow newborns to sleep in the same beds as their mothers, provided she is undrugged and fully aware. Unless a medical complication prevents the baby from being with you, keep him by your side night and day while you establish a strong connection to each other.

Some new mothers fear that they will be too exhausted for rooming-in. However, many women report feeling more restful with their babies nearby. Drowsing lightly with your baby for a full day is much more restful than sleeping deeply, only to be awakened every hour by a nurse who brings you your already-screaming baby. In fact, the latter option might cause feelings of resentment, rather than attachment.

Don't Give Up.

But what if you can't find a baby-friendly hospital, you have to have a C-section, you're unable to breastfeed, and you have to be separated from your newborn? Fortunately, the experience of bonding is not over as soon as you leave the hospital-- nor will separation in those first few days destroy your relationship permanently. A mother and child bond over months and years, not hours and minutes.

While early bonding with a newborn is important, setbacks in the process will not destroy or impair the mother-baby attachment. It is important to aim for a healthy bond as early in life as possible, but unexpected complications and variations will not permanently prevent the mother and her newborn from having a healthy bond.