I admit it: I am one of the world's most neurotic and worry-prone mothers. My daughter is three years old, yet I still tend to rush to her bedside in a panic if she sleeps for "too long." Any time she gets those nebulous "flu-like symptoms," an undertone of panic tells me that she has meningitis or worse. If she so much as touches her tongue to a bar of soap, I'm on the phone with poison control to make sure she doesn't need emergency medical attention.
These sorts of fears are extremely common in parents, no matter how old or how healthy our kids are. And, to some degree, parental concern is normal and natural. But there are several worries that we worry-prone mamas need to go ahead and kick. Here are just a few worries that you can ease up on.
1. Your child won't die of SIDS. How many mothers haven't been nervous the first few times our babies sleep all night? Constructive fear of SIDS is healthy, but it shouldn't worry you after a certain point. More than 90% of SIDS cases occur in babies under 6 months of age, and sudden death is extremely rare in children over one year. Even in the most vulnerable stage of life, SIDS is rare for healthy, full-term, breastfed babies in non-smoking households. Chances are good that you have no reason to fear SIDS anymore -- and you can totally stop checking on your 12-year-old at night.
2. Your child won't get kidnapped. Kidnapping is real, and, unfortunately, it is not entirely uncommon. But almost all of these kidnappings are by non-custodial parents, not by anonymous mouth-breathers lurking near playgrounds. Stereotypical kidnappings, in which a stranger lures and abducts an unrelated child, only happen about 100 times per year. By comparison, circumcision also kills about 100 kids per year, and wasps cause at least 100 more deaths. While it is very important to keep your children alert, confident, and wary of strangers, odds are slim that your child will be a victim of stereotypical kidnapping.
3. Your child will eventually reach that milestone-- yes, that one. We're all on a race to get our kids to reach hallmark achievements faster than their peers. But, unless your child has a very serious disability, she will almost certainly reach these milestones at some point. She will not still be nursing, bed-wetting, diaper-wearing or thumb-sucking when she graduates high school. She will, however, know her multiplication tables and phonics. Don't panic if your child isn't always the first among her peers to make certain achievements.
4. Your child isn't on drugs. Underage drinking and underage drug use do happen, and they are a serious cause for concern. But, despite media sensationalism, it's very unlikely that your young child is involved in recreational drug use. While about six percent of teenagers have smoked pot, only one percent have used stronger drugs such as hallucinogens. And all-out drug addiction is extremely rare in teens. For young kids under 12, drug use is far more rare than you might think. If you stay involved in your kid's life and influence him positively, odds are low that you're dealing with an undercover druggie.
5. You are a good mom -- and your child knows it. I think this is the most universal fear faced by mothers -- the feeling that we're not doing a "good enough" job. Regardless of what the media and your mother-in-law may say, you are a good mother. If you didn't care about your children -- if you weren't emotionally equipped to give them the love and dedication that they need -- you'd wouldn't be reading this article. If you love your kids with everything you've got, you're a good parent. And, underneath your toddler's tantrum or you teen's eye roll, your kids know it, too.
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