We've all seen her-- the supermom who juggles a baby, a toddler, a preschooler and two grade-school kids effortlessly in one immaculately clean minivan. This Supermom performs dozens of tricks that blow away the minds of real moms. Her hair and make-up are perfect. Her children always do their homework. Her toddler never has tantrums. And, most shockingly of all-- her baby is on a schedule.
Although Supermom may have had her baby sleeping through the night and eating in two-hour intervals since day ten, you needn't feel guilty about your own baby's less-than-organized schedule. There are no notable benefits of putting your baby on a schedule. Here's why.
1. Biology knows all. Your baby's body knows when he's hungry, tired, bored or inquisitive. For at least the first several months of his life, it is futile to try to rule these basic biological urges. While you can attune your baby's stomach to expect food at certain times and not others, this can be risky because it creates an artificial fluctuation in his mood and feeding cycle. Let him eat when he's hungry. The feedings will eventually become more regular.
2. A schedule can hurt your baby. Both physically and emotionally, babies need and expect round-the-clock parental care. If you refuse to feed or hold him when he needs you, you are intentionally allowing him to be hungry, thirsty or lonely. Although seemingly benign, these mild forms of neglect can stunt a baby's growth and emotional development, especially if they are implemented prematurely.
3. Schedules break the bond. Suppose you allow your breastfed baby to "cry it out" during a time when he is not supposed to nurse. You stand outside his door, panicked, with leaking breasts for the first night. By the end of the week, your baby no longer cries for you and your own biology no longer responds to his needs. You don't panic when you hear him cry; you can tune him out easily. The inherent mother-child bond that started when your child was conceived has now been abruptly severed. At least for now, your child is entitled to a strong bond with you. A strict schedule can destroy that.
4. Some babies can't accept a schedule. Supermom's kids may be more biologically attuned to an organized schedule, but others are innately less compatible with the practice. Your baby is not a machine with time-controlled functions. He, like you, is an organic being with his own wonderful array of thoughts and emotions. Your child will eventually fall into a natural schedule, but, for some babies, any attempt at an artificially imposed schedule will meet with disaster and failure.
5. There's no real benefit. So your baby is on a schedule. He wakes up at 8, eats at 9, poops at 10, eats again at 11, naps at 12... How far have you really gotten? A predictable schedule doesn't necessarily remove all, most or any of the day-to-day stresses associated with parenting. In fact, it can add more stress because there is little room for daily flexibility. And, if you are one of the lucky moms who gets a full night of sleep this early in the game, is it worth it if it comes only alongside a strict schedule?
Supermom may have all her ducks in a row, but there's no need to fret if your tiniest hatchling still doesn't hit the water right on time.
No comments:
Post a Comment