What's Wrong with Toddler Beauty Pageants?

At first glance, I thought she was a "little person," not a child. Her up-done blonde hair was intensely hairsprayed. Her dainty cheeks were covered in rouge. Red lipstick was painted on her pouty lips. Fake eyelashes protruded from her face like spider-legs. A corseted green dress created the appearance of a small waist and hips. But she wasn't a supermodel-- she was a toddler.

I witnessed this terrifying two-year-old downtown in my own city. People continuously stopped the mother, gushing about how "a-dooooor-able" the girl was in her grown-up attire. They passed by my toddler-- a brown-haired, crooked-smiled, fat-cheeked angel with marker-stains on her hands-- without a single comment. I inferred from overheard conversations that the heavily decorated preschooler had just won a local toddler beauty pageant a few hours before.

As proud as this mother was of her child's accomplishments, I will never enter my toddler in a beauty pageant. Here are a few reasons why.

A Grown-Up Beauty Standard

Toddler beauty pageants don't emphasize the types of beauty associated with childhood. If they did, the winning toddlers would be wearing paint-stained, mis-matched clothes and mussed hair. Toddler beauty pageants instead judge children by a grown-up beauty standard-- the same one that critiques 20-year-old supermodels. A toddler isn't supposed to have long eyelashes and red lips. She isn't supposed to wear a dress that mocks the appearance of a waist and hips. She's supposed to look like a toddler.

Children are beautiful, and it is their innocence that makes them that way. There are few things more precious than the innocent beauty of a laughing two-year-old, with fingerpaint on his hands and an inside-out shirt. Kids are beautiful because they haven't been corrupted by our society's perception of aesthetic-- they have no idea that ketchup-stained clothes are embarrassing or that polka dots and stripes don't match. This is the beauty that I want to see in my child-- not the oppressive standard associated with toddler beauty pageant culture.

I would never enter my child in a toddler beauty pageant because I want her to hold on to that innocence as long as she can. When she enters her preteen, teen and adult years, she will face enough pressure from society to look "pretty." I see no reason to prematurely force a hurtful beauty standard on her when she's barely old enough to walk.

An Unfair Competition

When I see the winning children in toddler beauty pageants, they almost always conform to the racist, ableist and misogynistic standard that marks grown-up supermodel culture. These toddlers are almost always thinner than average, with blonde hair, fair skin and blue or green eyes. Other than in token "special" competitions, it is rare for children who do not meet this profile to win pageants. The message this sends to kids is that Barbie-esque beauty is the only kind that counts-- even for toddlers.

My toddler is beautiful, but I doubt that she would win a toddler beauty pageant because she doesn't meet this standard. Her hair is thin and unevenly curly. Her skin is golden-olive. She has charcoal-colored eyes and an adorably crooked smile. She radiates beauty-- childhood beauty-- but does not look like a Barbie doll. And she isn't supposed to.

Beauty comes in many forms besides the grown-up, discriminatory standard associated with typical toddler beauty pageants. Toddlers of all colors, sizes and shapes and beautiful. Beauty knows no boundaries.

Pushing the Wrong Values

Does any parent really want their child to grow up valuing beauty more than ethics or intellect? You had no say in your child's appearance, and neither did your child. It is pointless (and redundant) to teach your child that her appearance makes her inherently more valuable than other people. It is harmful not only to her peers, but also to her own self-image.

Children who are constantly reminded of their beauty often feel that it is the only thing remarkable about them. This is doubly damaging because it is something that the child didn't choose. And how will the child feel when she's 15 and has acne? When she's 30 and gets her first wrinkles? When she's 45 and her hair turns gray? If she believes that it is her appearance that makes her valuable, these normal human imperfections will seem catastrophic.

Almost all mothers believe that their toddlers are beautiful-- and 100% of them are correct. But the best way to value your toddler's inner beauty is to shy away from the culture of toddler beauty pageants. Our culture's beauty standard is oppressive enough toward women and teens. There's no reason to push this stress on an innocent child.