I often joke that I've had a growth on my left hip for the last three years. The growth-- my adorable, wonder daughter-- now weighs nearly 30 pounds, and my left arm is noticeably more muscular than my right arm due to the constant weight-lifting.
Yes, I was-- and am-- one of those moms who carried my child everywhere, and I don't regret it at all. But there are times that moms like us need a break from the constant strain, too. Here are some pointers that helped me out.
1. Enjoy it. How many mothers do you know who will look back at their children's toddlerhood and think, "I wish I'd put him down more?" Odds are slim that you've heard anyone say this. But many, many women wish that they'd spent more time holding and cuddling their kids while it was still an option. My advice is to enjoy holding your high-need toddler for as long as you can. The day will come when you'll miss that special bond.
2. Wear your toddler. Baby-slings are made primarily for, well, babies, but they can and do work for toddlers. Find a sling, Snuggie or similar baby-carrier designed to bear the weight of an older baby or toddler. This gives your hands a break and can distribute weight more evenly and naturally.
3. Warm up. Carrying a toddler everywhere is a real workout, but you can make the best of it by following the same common-sense rules used to maximize the benefits of any other exercise. Stretch and warm up before you pick up a heavier toddler for a trek across the playground. Periodically shake out your arms and stretch your back to prevent strain.
4. Encourage independence. This is certainly easier said than done. If you've got somewhere to be and your toddler won't budge from his seat on the sidewalk, there is often nothing you can do besides picking him up and carrying him. But it is important-- both for you and your child-- that you do whatever is necessary to enable his independence. If he offers to walk, encourage and applaud this move toward independence.
5. Draw the line when you need to. "Mother" and "martyr" are not the same. If your back is killing you and you've got four grocery bags, it is okay to refuse to carry your toddler, even if he wants to be carried everywhere. Your toddler will inevitably stand up and walk if you turn as if you are leaving him. Even if this provokes a tantrum, you should say "no" when your toddler's demands are excessive or threatening to your health and safety.
6. Make walking a game. If your three-year-old wants to be carried up the stairs and you can't do it, try turning it into an improv song-and-dance routine. Sing some crazy tune about walking up the stairs and boogey your way to the top. A similar technique can help your toddler learn to walk through the store or ride in a stroller, even when he's cranky.
7. This, too, shall pass. You may feel worn out by your toddler who insists upon being carried everywhere, but it's important to remember that all children are different, and that milestones of independence all arrive at different rates. Just as some children brush their teeth or dress themselves faster than others, some children need to be held and carried for longer. Your clingy toddler will inevitably stop asking you to carry him everywhere at some point.
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